Helen needs to shut the frock up [Project Runway Australia]

Pictured: Juli’s winning gown, Mark’s bedsheet chic, and Helen’s middling effort

My feelings about this week’s Project Runway Australia instalment can be summed up in just three words: “shut up, Helen”. If I was allowed a fourth word, it’d probably be a profanity. Seriously.

Anyway, this week’s challenge was kind of ridiculous: it’s a bit much to expect anyone to create a red carpet-ready gown in 24 hours, so the judges came off as picky douchebags when they critiqued minor errors the designers wouldn’t have made if they’d had more time.

Having said that, though, most of the resulting dresses were mediocre at best and downright damn fugly at worst. Where is Tim Gunn, demanding they make it work? (And where are the editors, trimming at least 10 minutes from every episode’s bloated runtime?)

Designing women: the challenge was to design gowns for footballers’ girlfriends, who Kristy Hinze made the grave error of introducing by name – as if anyone cares about trashy Melbourne socialites except for other trashy Melbourne socialites. And why oh why was I not surprised that Helen boasted shamelessly about having these scrags on speed dial?

Helen? Shut the frock up: Helen’s overbearing personality isn’t even her most loathsome personality trait. That titles goes to her patina of assured arrogance. I mean, if you’re going to declare that designing a gown for the Brownlow Medal is “a walk in the park”, please craft something that isn’t so goddammed mediocre, willya?

Cute as a button: Man, does anyone else think that Juli is even more adorable than the woman who does Pikachu’s voice? Adorable and talented – no other designer even came close to matching her Grecian-style gown.

The next day, you’re out: The constant predictability of the eliminations is getting to be a real problem – in four episodes, I haven’t been surprised once. And of course the judges were going to boot boring Shane over stand-out Mark (who I’m kind-of-sort-of getting to like, even though his voice still annoys the crap out of me). Too bad they didn’t ditch Brint, whose “I’m a minswear designer, I don’t make wimen’s clothes” thing is old.


6 Responses to “Helen needs to shut the frock up [Project Runway Australia]”

  1. Word: Helen needs to frock off. Her gown was butt ugly, unflattering, and quite possiby from the early 90s.

    Brent should’ve been the one to go. Although Shane’s design was boring and didn’t fit well at all, it was to brief and was kind-of alright. Brent’s design was lopsided, gross and unflattering for her bust (where was the girl’s cleavage?!). The show is about designing for women (with the token guy garment). Brent should’ve been the one to collect his woolly coat on the way out of the Whitehouse.

    What you didn’t mention at all was the Jap’s miraculous effort to create a completley different (and HOT) dress in record time. That guy may actually be a fashion genius. But the jury is still out.

  2. I didn’t like Mark until this ep, when he was all, ‘Who ARE these people? Where are we?!’ about the socialite nobodies. Now I adore him.

    And yes, shut UP, Helen.

  3. I kind of like Mark, even though he is kind of annoying. I desperately want to see him sans quiff, too.

  4. Lui’s dress was hot.

  5. pondie84 Says:

    Lui is not a ‘jap’. I thought he was Malay.

  6. […] caught up on last week’s episode. A few things I’d like to make comment on: Firstly: Helen – the only one to change models – because her model had some booty???? Secondly: Helen working as […]

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