The real losers are the viewers… and Alex [Australia’s Next Top Model]

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Yesterday I whined that Jodhi Meares pulling out of the Top Model finale meant I’d miss the chance to snark about her dreadful hosting skills. Thanks for proving me wrong, Jodhi! If her pre-recorded intros had been switched with an autocue-reciting, monotone mannequin in a brunette wig, I doubt anyone would’ve noticed.

Look, I’m sure Jodhi is very sweet. But she’s just not cut out for the brash obnoxiousness of TV – which, to her credit, she seems to know: she stepped aside in favour of the brash, obnoxious and botox-hungry Charlotte Dawson, who brushed aside Jodhi’s career-killing absence with a simple “She couldn’t make it”. Which I guess is TV-speak for “She had a crippling panic attack and refused to come out of the bathroom”.As expected, the two-hour finale was a sloppily produced, powerfully awkward mess; Charlotte did her best but even she couldn’t extract articulate answers from the gormless, intellectually blank Top Model contestants (Leiden). There were too many uncomfortable pauses, too many jokes that only aroused half-hearted titters from the Supre-wearing audience, for any of it to be comfortable viewing.

Was Demelza’s dewy-eyed apology to her victim Alamela, delivered with the pluck of a featured extra on Home & Away, enough to salvage her reputation? I’d say no, given that the overly made-up, apathetic judges could barely bring themselves to award her the victory, ultimately decided by the popular vote. Because if there’s a group of people who really know the realities of the fashion world, it’s the Australian public.

Show, some advice for next season: politely escort Jodhi into a background role. Cast a decent crop of aspiring models. And for god’s sake, stop trying to pretend Ian Thorpe is a fashion icon.

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7 Responses to “The real losers are the viewers… and Alex [Australia’s Next Top Model]”

  1. Word.

    I have to say though, I did particularly enjoy this season, but then the main things I enjoy about the show are the horrible teenage models and the D-grade peripherally-related-to-the-fashion-world losers whoring themselves all over the set.

    I figure: Australians can’t do reality TV properly, so it’s as good as it’s going to get when they at least concoct an absolute train-wreck of awful, catty molls and desperate washed-up hacks, instead of the usual parade of dimwitted bogans they usually cast for these shows.

    It is my hope that Project Runway Australia will follow a similar pattern.

  2. ANTM… best show eva!!1!

  3. snoskred Says:

    I live blogged the finale on Aussie Bloggers – pretty much drawing the same conclusions you have. But what surprises me is the claim that Demelza won by the popular vote – if you look at the ANTM forums and other places where the show is discussed, people absolutely hate her and would not have voted for her.

    I loved how Demelza was rolling her eyes while apologizing. Gave it that extra touch of “I really don’t mean this at all, but I’m going to say it so I can win”. And then during the show she went on to show that she hasn’t changed at all by hoping Alex fell over on the catwalk etc..

    There’s also a lot of hating on Napoleon Perdis that I’m reading.. he’s managed to turn himself into one of Australia’s least loved people by his appearances on this show. And who’s going to pay that crazy amount of money for his stuff? Not me, that’s for sure.

    Welcome to the Aussie Blogger forums, by the way. 😉

    Cheers,
    Snoskred

  4. Yeah. The winner is decided by Napoelon Perdis, not the judges or public. Whom he wants for his product always wins.

  5. […] so unexpected: he reckoned she was booted from the show by producers wary of her lack of skills; I maintained she suffered some sort of crippling panic attack and simply couldn’t face the […]

  6. The decline of the show started last year but now it is confirmed that ANTM has become Big Brother with models. Napoleon Perdis appears to have way too much influence on who wins, the winner will be his “face” for a year after all. The bitches should have been pulled off the show right at the start of the bullying, the lame attempts of the judges to make good by pulling them up on national television was a form of victimization in itself. And no one believes the pathetic apologies of Demelza. If a contestant is judged at Elimination to have the best photo and be the most improved of the week, how can they be eliminated? When the draw was declared and the final decision went to the “public” vote, ANTM confirmed itself as a farce.

  7. pondie84 Says:

    Napoleon Perdis is just so unimaginably grotesque.

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