The real losers are the viewers… and Alex [Australia’s Next Top Model]
Yesterday I whined that Jodhi Meares pulling out of the Top Model finale meant I’d miss the chance to snark about her dreadful hosting skills. Thanks for proving me wrong, Jodhi! If her pre-recorded intros had been switched with an autocue-reciting, monotone mannequin in a brunette wig, I doubt anyone would’ve noticed.
Look, I’m sure Jodhi is very sweet. But she’s just not cut out for the brash obnoxiousness of TV – which, to her credit, she seems to know: she stepped aside in favour of the brash, obnoxious and botox-hungry Charlotte Dawson, who brushed aside Jodhi’s career-killing absence with a simple “She couldn’t make it”. Which I guess is TV-speak for “She had a crippling panic attack and refused to come out of the bathroom”.As expected, the two-hour finale was a sloppily produced, powerfully awkward mess; Charlotte did her best but even she couldn’t extract articulate answers from the gormless, intellectually blank Top Model contestants (Leiden). There were too many uncomfortable pauses, too many jokes that only aroused half-hearted titters from the Supre-wearing audience, for any of it to be comfortable viewing.
Was Demelza’s dewy-eyed apology to her victim Alamela, delivered with the pluck of a featured extra on Home & Away, enough to salvage her reputation? I’d say no, given that the overly made-up, apathetic judges could barely bring themselves to award her the victory, ultimately decided by the popular vote. Because if there’s a group of people who really know the realities of the fashion world, it’s the Australian public.
Show, some advice for next season: politely escort Jodhi into a background role. Cast a decent crop of aspiring models. And for god’s sake, stop trying to pretend Ian Thorpe is a fashion icon.