Ugly men hate pretty girls [Australia’s Next Top Model]
This week on Australia’s Next Top Model: the final three journeyed to New York City, the fashion capital of the world, where they were shown to be mere antipodean schoolgirls unworthy of joining the global modelling industry.
Seriously, how embarrassing.
What we also learned in New York, the glamorous metropolis that makes the final three seem especially un-glamorous in comparison: the US modelling industry is controlled by double-chinned homosexual overlords in designer spectacles, who have zero compunction about ruthlessly judging others even though they themselves resemble boiled turds. I could only snigger churlishly when one of these industry-types had the gall to chew out Sam for half the episode, then complain about her lack of confidence without any semblance of irony.
Any speaking of Sam, I probably doomed her to expulsion after I endorsed her last week. (Fie on you, blasted judges!) Her booting leaves an Alex-Demelza final two, who offer a reality TV conundrum: one of them has to win… yet I don’t want either of them to.
It’s not that these girls aren’t pretty – Alice Burdeau’s brief cameo proved you can be named Top Model and step into an international modelling career even if you’re a skeletal plain Jane you wouldn’t look at twice if you passed in the street. It’s just that Alex and Demelza are, each in their own special way, skanky molls.
I’ll back Alex in the finale, I guess. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go brush the taste of bile out of my mouth.