“I’m the crazy bitch around here” [Gossip Girl – Much ‘I Do’ About Nothing]

Does anyone else think Gossip Girl‘s first season finale was a little too… nice? Everyone was nice to each other, more or less, and most of the plots had nice, neat resolutions – and the ones that didn’t wrap up tidily were hardly earth-shattering cliffhangers. Even though the show will be back in a few months, ‘Much “I Do” About Nothing’ almost felt like it was written as a series finale, not a season finale.

Meanwhile, um, how can I put this delicately: is Blair fucking stupid? Why would she even consider getting back with Chuck, who treated her like a smear of shit on the underside of his expensive shoes? (Why has the show forgotten he’s the kind of guy who tried to date-rape Jenny in the pilot?) His sudden twu wuv for her felt like the worst retcon ever, and I was not surprised when he slid back into his manwhore ways – thank god Blair also found a toothy new beau of her own.

Actually, Blair was only a moron in her Blair-and-Chuck subplot. In the Blair-and-Dan subplot, playing the puppetmaster of Georgina’s downfall, she was magnificent. But seriously: Georgina, Manhattan’s cruelest bitch, is undone by… her parents?! Are you kidding me? It doesn’t seem fair that her exit from the show was so anticlimactic, especially since Michelle Tractenberg probably won’t be coming back after all, though at least G copped a mouthful from Serena (who finally grew a pair after moping around for the last couple of weeks. All is forgiven, S!).

As for the rest, I kind of agree with Salon’s wrap-up:

With Georgina gone, the rest of the episode was filled with plodding parent-centric story lines, all clustered around Lily’s nuptials and devoid of any pretense of fun. In the end, Lily rebuffed Rufus’ advances and decided to go through with her wedding (meh), Nate’s dad ran away to Dominica to hide from his embezzlement charges (ugh), and Rufus’ mediocre band went on tour with the Breeders (huh?). All of which was conveyed with a frustratingly high level of sincerity and none of the usual insidery New York dialogue that’s been so actively educating the show’s teen audience about Page Six and the Waverly Inn.

Word. Season two, take note: go light on the earnest treacle, heavy on the bitchy glee.


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