“We’re the non-judging Breakfast Club” [Gossip Girl – Woman On The Verge]

You’re looking at Dan Humphries, the dumbest doofus in New York City. His idiot sister Jenny was absent from this week’s episode of Gossip Girl, and seriously, I think Lonely Boy must’ve inherited Little J’s surplus stupidity.

So even after Dan’s lifelong friend Vanessa warned him not to trust “Sarah”, the same girl who turned his beloved Serena into a sketchy weirdo, he swallowed Georgina’s BS and shared a smooch with her? Dan, I know you’re heartbroken and all, but you’re acting so stoopid that I’m not going to feel the tiniest bit sorry for you if you catch Georgina’s gross cooter diseases.

The only person approaching Dan’s gargantuan levels of stupidity was Serena, whose “I killed someone” confession from last week turned out to be nothing of the sort (of course). All those tears for something that so obviously wasn’t murder, so obviously wasn’t Serena’s fault? This plot was so ham-handed that even its climax – Serena confronting her “victim’s” parents – happened offscreen; she better grow some brains and some balls soon, because she’s turning into a real sop.

I’m making it sound like I hated this episode but I actually kinda dug it: for one, it had Rufus’s awesomely cheesy ’90s tune and an amusingly pointless Lisa Loeb cameo. For another, the scenes where Blair, Nate and Chuck teamed up to rescue Serena were a tasty mix of sweetness and snark. The trio’s witty banter reminded me of The OC in its heyday – which just leaves me hoping Gossip Girl can avoid that show’s spectacular second-season crash and burn.

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