The misogynist’s dream [Australia’s Next Top Model]

So Ian Thorpe popped up in this week’s episode of Australia’s Next Top Model, and… I’m struggling to figure out why. He oversaw a fitness challenge (kinda ironic, given his jubbling set of chins), made Ugly Caris cry, apologised awkwardly to Ugly Caris, then disappeared on his posh boat and never returned. Not that I’m bovvered – he’s so bland he makes Jodhi Meares look vibrant and charismatic by comparison.

The fitness challenge itself gave us even more reason to hate the girls. Decked out in bikinis that showed off their flat chests and plank figures, the grossly unfit models struggled to swim even 100 metres – they are so pathetic, but it’s the superiority that keeps me hooked on this trashy and deplorable hour of television.

Now, most of these girls are so vapid they make drinking a cup of cold, weak tea seem inviting, but even they should know by now that when a reality show asks you to list your worst fear, you don’t tell them your genuine worst fear! You make up something innocuous, so that when said show wheels out the face-your-demons challenge – as Top Model did tonight – you don’t look like a complete twat. And guess what? When Leiden freaked out over the prospect of coming face-to-face with Edward Scissorhands, she looked like A. Complete. Twat.

And the biggest highlight of the episode: judge Charlotte Dawson boasting to Bec and Ugly Caris that their prize for winning the fear challenge was the opportunity to party with her. Oh, wow, a night out with Charlotte – heaven!

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3 Responses to “The misogynist’s dream [Australia’s Next Top Model]”

  1. With Ian Thorpe, this did a Corey-Big Brother and pulled a Poochie.

  2. Heh, true, but at least Poochie was a third Fonzarelli.

  3. And another part Joe Camel.

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