Girls Gone Stupid [Gossip Girl – Desperately Seeking Serena]

In this week’s episode, the girls’ brains all fell out and slithered ungraciously around on polished checkerboard marble floors.

Serena reunited with her bad-girl bestie Georgina Sparks, foolishly succumbing to G’s Tasteless Mystery Roofie on the eve of a super-important exam. So let me get this straight: S knows Georgina is a merciless axe-wound, she knows she’s impressionable enough to follow Georgina into anything… and she still goes out with her? Twice?!

Despite the frequency of Michelle Trachtenberg’s bitchface, Georgina and Serena’s plot thread was a little… meh. But things look to get veeeeery interesting next week: I wonder exactly what Serena and Georgina did that’s so terrible Dan can’t know a thing about it? (I’m willing to bet they murdered a homeless man. Dun!)

Meanwhile, Blair herself wasn’t stupid (except in her quest to regain the affections Hazel and Penelope, the two most vacuous skanks on the Upper East Side, including Jenny), but she inspired rampant stupidity in the so-called smartest girl in school, Nelly Yuki. Nelly Yuki is so dumb she a) trusts Blair, which, der, b) dates some douche called “Todd”, and c) uses a calculator that seriously requires about a billion double-A batteries. Dumb.

Unable to hang out with any of her gal pals except for that bland 12-year-old one, Jenny launched a quest to find a “king” from “the right family”. Shut up, Jenny. God. Little J eventually wound up with a big-jawed dolt named Asher, who’s so ridiculous he thinks a gift of 100 hotdogs is romantic. (I have a feeling that next week we’ll discover Asher likes hotdogs a lot, devious cackle.)

Elsewhere, Nate and Veronica zzzzz. I only woke up to see Blair’s and Dan’s reactions to the couple’s contrived new-found romance, and even that wasn’t scandalous enough to justify the stupid date scene.

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