OMFG! XOXO [Gossip Girl – The Blair Bitch Project]

I know this is already such a cliche, but: OMFG! Gossip Girl! If you didn’t watch the first post-strike episode yet, your life must be so miserable and meaningless. If you’re ready for some Upper East Side goodness, read on…

Rufus’s new haircut would have been the world thing in this episode… if they’d edited out all the scenes with his daughter in them. When did Jenny Humphries become such a goddamn stupid bitch? First she maliciously hurls dairy products all over my beloved Blair. Then she steals clothes from her new clique. And then! She calls Nate and asks him for eight thousand dollars. WTF?! By the time Little J’s transgressions were finally exposed at her 15th birthday party, I was so embarrassed by everything she did and said I could scarcely bring myself to watch.

Taylor Momsen’s subsequent bratty tantrum was so convincingly anguished that I was almost prepared to feel sympathy for Jenny… at least till she inveigled her way back into the Upper East cyborg (thanks, Dan) clique, flashing her archenemy Blair a smug smirk of victory. Jenny, you little bitch, you are going down. Go Team Blair!

(Not that I’m even sure why Blair and Jenny are battling for the favours of Penelope, Hazel, et cetera. They are absolute see-you-next-Tuesdays.)

Wasn’t a character supposed to come out of the closet in this episode? The only overt show of homosexuality I saw in this episode came from Eric van der Woodsen’s lush, fruity hairdo.

‘The Blair Bitch Project’ only cemented the obsession I have going on right now with Gossip Girl. Next week: the porn-booze-and-drugs-sending Georgina Sparks begins her campaign of terror. Bring. It. On! XOXO

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